Divorce Mediation Checklist: How to Prepare and What to Bring

In a one-day divorce mediation, most of the work happens before anyone sits down. You list the accounts, total the debts, and decide what matters most to you. With that groundwork done, the session can focus on decisions instead of paperwork.

Maybe you don’t know where every account is, or there’s one topic you dread bringing up. This divorce mediation checklist gives you an order to work in, so you arrive at Divorced in a Day ready to finish in a single session.

Your Divorce Mediation Checklist at a Glance

Our divorce mediation checklist covers seven areas: income and account statements, retirement accounts, debts, a list of assets, your priorities, a parenting plan if you have children, and your own emotional readiness. Gather what you can, write down what you can’t find, and bring your questions.

Item	What to gather	Why it matters
1. Income and accounts	Pay stubs, recent tax returns, bank and investment statements	Shows what the household earns and holds
2. Retirement	401(k), IRA, and pension statements; Social Security estimates	Plans are often among the largest assets; Social Security isn’t divided but helps you plan income
3. Debts	Mortgage, car loans, credit cards, a current credit report	Debts get divided along with property
4. Assets and insurance	Home, vehicles, valuables, insurance policies, anything owned before the marriage	You can only divide what’s on the list
5. Priorities	Your must-haves, flexible items, and questions	Keeps each decision tied to what matters to you
6. Children	School calendar, current schedule, childcare and insurance costs	Shapes the parenting plan and child support
7. Emotional readiness	Rest, support, and a clear calendar for the day	Helps you make decisions you’ll stand behind

You don’t need every document on the first day. If something is missing, note it on your list. Your attorney-mediators can tell you whether it matters for your situation.

Financial Documents to Gather

Start with the paperwork that shows what comes in, what goes out, and where it sits: recent pay stubs, the last two or three years of tax returns, and current statements for every bank, brokerage, and retirement account. Add a statement for each debt. Copies work. If you can’t find a statement, write down an approximate balance and the date.

Income, Accounts, and Taxes

• Income. Recent pay stubs for both spouses. If you’re self-employed, a profit-and-loss statement or your business tax return.
• Tax returns. The last two or three years, with W-2s and 1099s.
• Bank accounts. Checking and savings statements, including accounts in only one spouse’s name.
• Investments. Brokerage statements, stock options, health savings accounts, and any cryptocurrency.
• Monthly budget. Housing, utilities, insurance, groceries, car payments, and the kids’ costs. You’ll use it to plan two households, and it matters if spousal maintenance (Arizona’s term for alimony) is on the table. You can get an early sense of the range with our Arizona alimony calculator.

If your spouse handled the finances, you may not have the passwords or know every account. Plenty of people start there. List what you know and the banks you remember. Both spouses fill in the same set of inventory worksheets, so you’ll usually spot gaps well before the session.

Retirement Accounts

Retirement savings are often the largest asset after the house, especially after a long marriage. Gather the most recent statement for every account, including plans from old jobs.

• 401(k) and 403(b) plans. The current balance and the plan administrator’s contact information.
• IRAs and Roth IRAs. The most recent statements.
• Pensions. The annual benefit statement and any plan summary you have.

Dividing an employer plan such as a 401(k) or pension generally takes a separate court order called a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). The IRS explains that a spouse or former spouse who receives a payment under a QDRO can generally roll it over, just as the employee could. If you’re over 50 and dividing decades of savings, our gray divorce page covers what often comes up.

Debts

• Mortgage and home equity loans. The current payoff amount.
• Vehicle loans. The lender and payoff amount.
• Credit cards. The latest statement for every card, joint or individual.
• Other debts. Student loans, medical bills, personal loans, and any tax debt.
• Your credit report. The Federal Trade Commission notes that you can check your report from each nationwide credit bureau once a year for free at AnnualCreditReport.com. It’s a quick way to catch an account you’d forgotten.

Under A.R.S. § 25-318, a divorce decree that assigns a joint debt to one spouse binds the spouses, not the creditor. If a joint card stays in both names and payments stop, the lender can still pursue either of you. Knowing that ahead of time helps you decide which accounts to pay off, refinance, or close as part of your agreement.

A List of Your Assets

Your asset list should include everything either of you owns, with an approximate value: the house, vehicles, accounts, business interests, and valuable personal property. Mark anything one of you owned before the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance. In Arizona, those items may be separate property rather than community property.

• Real estate. The home and any rentals or land, with a recent estimate of value and the mortgage balance.
• Vehicles. Cars, trucks, RVs, and boats, with an estimated value and any loan balance.
• Business interests. Your ownership share and recent financial statements.
• Personal property. Furniture, jewelry, collections, tools, and art. Focus on items with real value or real meaning.
• Insurance. Health, auto, and life policies, and who each one covers. Note the beneficiaries named on each life policy and retirement account.
• Pets. Where they’ll live and who covers their care.

What Arizona Treats as Separate Property

Arizona is a community property state. Under A.R.S. § 25-213, property a spouse owned before the marriage, or received during it by gift or inheritance, is that spouse’s separate property. Most other property acquired during the marriage is community property.

Separate property gets harder to trace once it mixes with shared money, such as an inheritance deposited into a joint account. If that applies to you, bring whatever records show where the money came from: the old account statement, the closing papers, or the estate letter.

In divorce mediation, the two of you decide how to balance the split. One spouse might keep a retirement account while the other keeps the house, as long as the overall result works for both of you and the court approves it in your consent decree.

Preparation Mistakes That Slow the Process Down

• Values without balances. Listing what the house is worth without the mortgage payoff.
• Missing accounts. Leaving off accounts in one spouse’s name or retirement plans from old employers.
• Big moves right before the session. Large withdrawals, new credit, or major purchases you haven’t mentioned to your attorney-mediators.
• No plan for the kids. Arriving without childcare for the full session.

Your Priorities and Parenting Plan

Before divorce mediation, decide what matters most to you. Write down your must-haves, the items you can be flexible on, and the questions you need answered. If you have children, sketch the parenting schedule you want, including holidays. With a short written list, you can keep the day focused on your goals instead of whatever comes up first.

• Must-haves. Two or three outcomes that matter most, such as staying in the house until the kids finish school or keeping your retirement account intact.
• Flexible items. Things you’d like but could trade.
• Let-go items. Things you’d rather give up than argue over.
• Open questions. Anything you don’t understand yet, big or small.

A few questions people often bring:

• Do we keep the house, sell it, or does one of us buy the other out?
• Who pays which bills until everything is final?
• What happens to the joint credit cards?
• Who keeps health coverage for the kids?

Keep your priorities list private and honest. You’ll use it to check each decision against what you wrote down.

If You Have Children

Arizona law lists what a parenting plan must cover in A.R.S. § 25-403.02. If you think these through ahead of time, the conversation goes faster:

• Legal decision-making. Whether major decisions about school, health care, and religion are joint or sole.
• The regular schedule. Where the children sleep on school nights and weekends.
• Holidays and school breaks. Which holidays alternate and how summer works.
• Exchanges. Where handoffs happen and who drives.
• Communication. How the two of you will talk about the kids, and how often.
• Changes and disputes. How you’ll handle a move, a schedule change, or a disagreement later.

Bring the school calendar, your current childcare costs, and what you pay for the children’s health insurance. Arizona’s child support guidelines start from both parents’ incomes and can account for costs like these. You can read more on our child support page.

How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation Emotionally

Emotional preparation means expecting feelings to show up and planning around them. Sleep, eat, clear your calendar, and arrange childcare. Decide in advance what a good outcome looks like for you. Grief, anger, and relief can all surface on the same day. That is normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re unprepared.

• Name the hard part. Write down the one topic most likely to upset you. Reading it the night before can take some of the sting out of it on the day.
• Separate the feeling from the decision. A frustrated moment is the wrong time to trade away something you need. If you feel yourself reacting, ask for a few minutes.
• Plan the day around you. Arrange a ride if you’d rather not drive, childcare for the full day, and something quiet for the evening.
• Line up support. A friend to call afterward, or a counselor if the grief feels heavy. If you’re still sorting through feelings about the decision itself, the five emotional stages of considering divorce may help you name where you are.
• Remember the setup. You and your spouse arrive separately, work in separate rooms, and leave at different times. Contact with your spouse will not occur.

Much of divorce mediation is about handling emotions, and far less of it is legal work than people expect. Your attorney-mediators help with both.

What to Bring to Divorce Mediation

Bring a government-issued photo ID, your priorities list, notes on anything missing from your worksheets, and any statement that has arrived since you turned them in. Add reading glasses, a phone charger, water, and a snack. The session runs in one sitting, and comfort helps you stay focused.

• Photo ID. You’ll sign documents in front of a notary at the end of the session.
• Your priorities list and questions. Include the sample questions above that apply to you.
• Updated numbers. Any new statement or balance since you completed the worksheets.
• Your calendar. Include the school calendar if you have children.
• Comfort items. Glasses, a charger, water, and a sweater for a cool room.

Sessions usually run about two hours for couples without children and about three for couples with children.

Why Preparation Makes One-Day Mediation Possible

A one-day divorce works when both spouses do the groundwork early. The agreement to mediate, the intake questionnaire, and the shared worksheets give us what we need to draft most of the paperwork before you arrive. You spend the session making decisions, and the questions you raised while filling in the worksheets already have answers.

Key advantages of our Divorced in a Day program:

• A flat fee you know in advance. One $5,000 fee covers both spouses, with filing, service, notary, and delivery fees included.
• Two attorney-mediators. Each spouse works with one in a separate room.
• No court appearances. We file through Arizona’s Summary Consent Decree process the next business day. After Arizona’s 60-day waiting period, your final documents arrive by mail.
• 100% Agreement Rate — Every Divorced in a Day mediation session we’ve conducted has resulted in a full agreement.

When Divorced in a Day Isn’t the Right Fit

Divorced in a Day works when both spouses expect to reach an agreement. If you think your spouse wants to fight, won’t agree on the big issues, or won’t take part at all, say so in your consultation. In that conversation, we’ll work out which path fits, and our contested divorce practice is there when a spouse wants to fight. Divorce mediation also isn’t appropriate where there is domestic violence, threats, or coercion. In those cases, you need an advocate on your side, and Kate Simonds has handled hundreds of contested bench trials.

Take the First Step

If you and your spouse are ready to move forward, call our Peoria office at (480) 433-9747 or book a consultation. There’s no consultation fee to talk through Divorced in a Day with an attorney-mediator. You can also read more about our mediation services. We’ll tell you whether your situation qualifies and where to start on your divorce mediation checklist.

Frequently Asked Questions

This article is intended for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.