If you’re trying to picture what to expect in divorce mediation, start there. You won’t sit across a table from your spouse, and you won’t stand in front of a judge. Divorce mediation follows a set order: the preparation, the day itself, the decisions you’ll make, and the filing after you sign. We’ll take them one at a time.
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How Does Divorce Mediation Work?
A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse reach your own agreement on property, debts, support, and parenting. The mediator doesn’t decide anything. Once you agree, the terms go into a written agreement and a proposed decree for the court to approve. Neither of you has to argue your case to a judge.
Private divorce mediation, like Divorced in a Day, is voluntary: both spouses choose to take part. Court-connected mediation is a separate process. Maricopa County Superior Court encourages and often requires it for parents in child-related disputes. In private mediation, A.R.S. § 12-2238 keeps what you say confidential and out of evidence, with a short list of exceptions.
Mediators set up sessions in different ways. Some keep both spouses at one table. Others move between separate rooms, a format often called caucus. Many meet for a few hours at a time over several weeks, and the mediator may or may not be a lawyer.
| Common mediation formats | Divorced in a Day | |
|---|---|---|
| Who is in the room | Often both spouses together | Each spouse in a separate room |
| Number of sessions | Often several, spread over weeks or months | One session day |
| The mediator | May or may not be a lawyer | Two attorney-mediators |
| Cost | Often billed by the hour or session | $5,000 flat fee for both spouses |
| Paperwork | Sometimes drafted after the sessions end | Drafted before you arrive |
At Simonds Law Group, our mediators are attorneys. While you negotiate, someone in the room can explain how Arizona law treats the issue in front of you.
Before Mediation Day: The Preparation
Most of the work happens before the session. Both spouses sign an agreement to mediate, return a short intake questionnaire, and fill in one shared set of inventory worksheets. Our office drafts most of the paperwork from those answers, so the day goes to decisions instead of data entry.
- A consultation. You talk with an attorney-mediator about whether Divorced in a Day fits your situation. We don’t charge a consultation fee for that conversation.
- The agreement to mediate. Both spouses sign it before anything else moves forward.
- The intake questionnaire. A short set of questions gives us the basics about your family and your household.
- The inventory worksheets. You and your spouse complete one shared set covering assets, debts, and parenting time if you have children. While you work on them, you can ask either attorney-mediator about the big issues, so nothing surprises you on the day.
- Scheduling and drafting. Once the worksheets come back complete, we generally schedule the session. Our office prepares the draft divorce documents before you arrive. Weekend sessions are available to meet your availability.
If you haven’t raised divorce with your spouse yet, start with our post on how to talk to your spouse about divorce. Divorce mediation goes more smoothly when both of you have already talked about ending the marriage.
What to Have on Hand
Paperwork is where many people stall. You don’t need a perfect file. Pull together what you can find, and list what you can’t so we can plan around it.
- Bank, investment, and credit card statements
- Retirement and pension statements, such as a 401(k) or IRA
- Your mortgage statement and vehicle loan balances
- Recent pay stubs and tax returns
- Childcare, school, and health insurance costs if you have children
If your spouse handles the finances and you don’t have the account passwords, write down what you know. The shared worksheets help both of you fill in the gaps.
Getting Ready for the Day
In our experience, divorce mediation is more about handling emotions than handling legal work. Grief, anger, and relief can show up in the same hour. A few small preparations help you stay clear-headed.
- Eat first. Have a real breakfast, and bring water and a snack.
- Bring your list. Write down the two or three things that matter most to you, and the things you can let go.
- Bring a photo ID. You’ll need it when we notarize your documents.
- Clear the afternoon. Line up childcare so you aren’t watching the clock.
- Pick one person to call. Tell a friend or family member when you expect to finish so you have someone to talk to afterward.
What to Expect in Divorce Mediation, Step by Step
On mediation day, you arrive on your own, settle into a private room with an attorney-mediator, review the draft documents, and work through anything still open. The attorney-mediators carry questions and proposals between rooms. When everything is settled, you sign, we notarize the documents, and you leave at a different time than your spouse.
- Arrive at your own time. We schedule spouses to arrive separately. Our office is on Olive Avenue in Peoria, with a couch at the entrance and quiet music playing.
- Settle into your room. Each spouse works in a separate conference room with an attorney-mediator. Contact with your spouse will not occur.
- Walk through the draft. Your attorney-mediator reviews the draft documents with you, built from the worksheets you already completed.
- Name what’s still open. Many couples arrive with a few unresolved items. That’s why we reserve a full day.
- Work through each open item. The two attorney-mediators talk with each other and carry proposals between rooms. You can ask how Arizona law usually handles an issue before you answer, and you can take a break whenever you need one.
- Read the final terms. We update the documents to match what you agreed, and you read the final version before you sign.
- Sign and head out. You sign and you leave at a staggered time.
The session usually runs about two hours for couples without children and about three hours for couples with children.
What the Attorney-Mediators Do
Our attorneys have taken most of these issues to court. They can tell you how differently judges tend to rule on the same kind of question, and that’s one reason couples who agree often prefer to set the terms themselves. In mediation, they use that experience to help both spouses reach terms each of you can live with.
| What attorney-mediators do | What they don’t do |
|---|---|
| Explain how Arizona law generally treats an issue | Tell you what to decide |
| Carry questions and proposals between rooms | Advocate for one spouse against the other |
| Point out terms a court may question or that could cause trouble later | Pressure you to sign before you’re ready |
| Draft and update the documents |
What Happens in Divorce Mediation: The Decisions You’ll Make
Mediation comes down to a handful of decisions about property, debts, support, and children. Arizona law sets the framework for each one. Inside that framework, the two of you can trade and shape terms in ways a judge generally wouldn’t, as long as the court finds the agreement fair.
- Property. Arizona is a community property state, and A.R.S. § 25-318 directs a court to divide community property equitably, which generally means about equally. In mediation, you can divide it your own way. One spouse might keep the house while the other keeps more of the retirement savings.
- Debts. You decide who pays the mortgage, car loans, and credit cards going forward. Your agreement binds the two of you, but it doesn’t change what a creditor can collect on a joint account, so plan joint debts with care.
- Retirement accounts. 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions often need an extra step. Splitting many employer plans takes a separate court order, often called a QDRO, so mention any employer plan early.
- Spousal maintenance. If one spouse may ask for spousal maintenance (alimony), you’ll decide whether it applies, how much, and for how long. Our Arizona alimony calculator gives you a rough starting point before the session.
Couples divorcing after a long marriage often have the most to divide, from pensions to a paid-off house. Our gray divorce page covers those cases.
If You Have Children
Parents build a parenting plan. A.R.S. § 25-403.02 lists what an Arizona parenting plan must include. In mediation, you’ll typically settle:
- Legal decision-making, joint or sole, for education, health care, and religious upbringing
- A parenting time schedule, plus holidays and school vacations
- Where and how exchanges happen
- How you’ll communicate and handle future changes
- Child support, generally calculated under the Arizona Child Support Guidelines
After You Sign
We file the paperwork the next business day through Arizona’s Summary Consent Decree process. A.R.S. § 25-329 then requires a 60-day waiting period, counted from service or acceptance of the papers, before the court can finalize a divorce. Neither of you appears in court, and the final documents arrive by mail. At least one spouse must have lived in Arizona, or been stationed here with the military, for 90 days before filing.
How Divorced in a Day Brings It Into One Session
Divorced in a Day moves the preparation up front so the divorce mediation itself fits in one day, with two attorney-mediators, one flat fee, and no court appearances. It’s designed for qualifying couples who broadly agree the marriage is over, and you don’t need to agree on every detail before you start.
Advantages of our Divorced in a Day program:
- Flat fee, no surprises. $5,000 total for both spouses, including filing, service, notary, and delivery fees.
- Two attorney-mediators. Each spouse works with one, in separate rooms.
- No court appearances. We file through the Summary Consent Decree process.
- Our record. We have a 100% success rate with couples who sign up and come in for mediation.
When Divorced in a Day Isn’t the Right Fit
Divorce mediation depends on two spouses who can work toward agreement. It isn’t appropriate where there is domestic violence, threats, or coercion, and it may not fit if a spouse is hiding assets or won’t take part. If your spouse wants to fight, Simonds Law Group also handles contested divorces. Kate Simonds has tried hundreds of contested cases in court.
We prefer a smooth, efficient resolution whenever one is possible, and we’re fully prepared to advocate in court when a case needs it. The consultation is where you figure out which path fits before you commit to either one.
Take the First Step
If you want to talk through what to expect in divorce mediation for your own situation, call (480) 433-9747 or book a consultation online. Barbara Mendoza, our managing paralegal, answers the phone during office hours and can set up your call. There’s no consultation fee to talk through Divorced in a Day, and you can read more about our mediation services in the meantime.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my spouse won’t agree to mediation?
Private mediation only works when both spouses choose to take part. For most Arizona marriages, one spouse can’t stop a divorce by refusing to cooperate, so a contested case may be the path forward. A consultation can help you sort out your options.
Do we have to live apart before mediation?
No. Arizona doesn’t require spouses to separate or live apart before filing for divorce. You can mediate while you still share a home. Your agreement can set out who stays in the house and when the other spouse moves.
What if I feel overwhelmed during the session?
Tell your attorney-mediator. You can take a break, step outside, or slow the pace at any point. Strong emotions are common on mediation day, and nobody expects you to push through without a pause.
Is our agreement binding once we sign?
Under Arizona Rule of Family Law Procedure 69, a written agreement signed by both spouses is generally binding on the two of you. A judge still reviews it for fairness, and it becomes an enforceable court order once the decree is signed after the waiting period. Ask about your specific terms during a consultation.
This article is intended for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.